Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
