I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
