Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I just had sex on a roof
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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