i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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