Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Dick very happy bro
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
