so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
