And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
