so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Be still, my beating vagina.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I forgot wine drunk hurts
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
