i dont even know how to be here
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
