is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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