I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
