we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
