Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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