She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
