Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
