I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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