I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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