Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
