That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
