would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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