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I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
