Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
