chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
