I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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