You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Randomize
