It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
