Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
