doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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