So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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