i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Randomize
