she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
