She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
