he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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