OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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