We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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