How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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