Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
do herpes really smell.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
