i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
