Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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