If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
