I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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