I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
