What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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