But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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