overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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