just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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