What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
