; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
