is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
