id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
