jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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