K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
