time to smoke my breakfast
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Randomize
