Your tits are I can't wait for
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Randomize
