I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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