a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
