he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
