9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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