I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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