i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
