I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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