my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
