Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
