yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
