We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize